letting go

(warning--completely un-law-related and a bit personal. afterall, i started this blog to help myself, not necessarily to talk about law.)

i have problems letting go of people. once i find a person whom i want in my life (no easy feat for me), i have a horrible time letting go of that person. i don't make a lot of friends. but the friends i do have are very near and dear to me. losing just one of them really tears at me. people move, circumstances change, friendships drift apart. it's all a natural part of life. but i hate it. i feel like i'm losing a piece of myself when i lose a friend. this has been particularly hard for me lately. you don't think about how, at the end of law school, everyone is going to leave. but they do. and you're left behind in a place you don't particularly like but tolerated because people you loved were here.

i'm not upset at any of them for leaving. they need to grow and do things that make them happy. but damn it's hard. it's easy to take these people for granted until they are gone. and then you realize just how much support and understanding and comfort they gave you when you needed it most. and you ache to have that back.

i wish i could be one of those people who just make changes in life easily and move on without looking back. they care but they can let go and move on.